At some point, early on in life, stuff happens that doesn’t quite work out how we think it should. In those moments we come to believe that “there’s something wrong here.” Our successes, relationships, personality, and accomplishments then get assembled to adapt to that sense of things. We put together ways of being that work for us, that achieve results, provide pleasure, and make us the people we are today. The joy, pleasure, and satisfaction that we experience obscure the notion that something’s not quite right. Peace of mind (power and fulfillment, too) requires the intersection with, and recognition of, the way we’ve constructed ourselves.
Peace of mind comes from giving up the notion that “something’s wrong here.” Giving that up is like having the ability to dance—like the extraordinary performance of a matador or an aikido master—with what’s so and with what comes at us vs. how we thought or hoped it would go. It leaves us with a sense of ease, a congruence with ourselves, a feeling of being at home—where we are not constrained by “shoulds” or “watch outs,” but free to act, free to move, free to be fully ourselves.
More insights here